Marriage Humor



婚姻幽默



Wife: 'What are you doing?'


Husband : Nothing.


Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.


Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'



妻:你在作什麼啊?


夫:沒作什麼。


妻:沒作什麼?你看著我們的結婚證書,足足有一小時了。


夫:我在尋找它的有效日期是到什麼時候。



Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'


Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'


Wife : 'Yes or no.'



妻: 要吃晚餐嗎?


夫: 當然!我可以選擇嗎?


妻:要或不要。



Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'


Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'


Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!


Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?



妻:為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡?


夫:當問題發生時,不管有多困難,我看著妳照片就迎刃而解了。


妻:你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊!


夫:是啊!望著妳的照片我問自己,還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢?


 



Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'


Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.


Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.



女孩:婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾,以減輕你的負擔。


男孩:親愛的,妳真體貼,但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。


女孩:哦?那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。



Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'


Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'


Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'



子:今早我和爹地一起搭車,他要我讓座給一位女士。


母:嗯,你這麼做是對的。


子:但是,媽,我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。



A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?


Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter who left you a fortune!'



一位新婚的先生問他太太:如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我,你會嫁給我嗎?


女人溫柔的答道:親愛的,不管是誰留下財產給你,我都會嫁給你的。


 



Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever .


The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'



女孩對著男友說:吻我一下,我就永遠屬於你了。


男孩回道:謝謝您提早警告我。



A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'


He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'



問夫:你最喜歡我哪一點?我美麗的臉龐,還是我性感的軀體?


他把她從頭到腳瀏覽了一遍,回道:我喜歡你的幽默感。



 

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